The Life Of A Single Mommy

I don’t deserve love, I don’t deserve happiness, I don’t deserve anything.  I screwed up my life and now I have to deal with it.

I want more than God will ever allow me to have and I’ve been dumb enough to believe that He will give it to me, thus I have given myself false hopes and ever day that passes me by feels just like another dagger being stuck in my heart.

NO ONE, NO ONE wants to be with me.  NO ONE, NO ONE will ever love me.  NO ONE, NO ONE will ever care about me.  I hate my life, I hate who I am, I hate being the girl who pretends she is okay with her life when she isn’t.  I’m tired of smiling when all I want to do is cry.

I feel as if God has forsaken me.  I’ve prayed and prayed, I’ve begged and begged that God give me someone.  I have ever since I was a little girl and now I’m 30.  I guess it is just time to face it, God doesn’t have anyone out there for me.  No one would have me, why would they want me?  I can’t continue to live my life like this, I can’t live my life unhappily ever after.  I WANT A HAPPY ENDING!  Why can’t I just have my happily ever after?